Walking in Love

“. . . walking in love.” – Romans 14:15

Do you have a special aggravating someone in your life, someone you just can’t stand? It might be a neighbor or coworker, a friend or even a family member. Are you “blessed” with a contrarian? You know, someone who feels called to be “the devil’s advocate” to whatever you say or whatever point you make in conversation. When the devil uses such people to poke and jab you, do you explode or plan a vendetta? When you hear someone say, “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger,” do you immediately think, “Yes, but if I kill them, I will be stronger”? Before you kill someone, please read on and seize the opportunity to grow in your faith by responding to such people by walking in love.

There is a solution for, and a great opportunity presented by the “difficult” people in your life. The solution for such aggravations and people-obstacles in life is to love them. When I research an issue or topic I first go to the word of God, but then I go to other sources like commentaries. I often look to human sources that are honest sources. I look to people who will give me practical accurate depictions of what I am trying to convey. One of the most honest people groups I know is kids. Kids can’t help but be honest, brutally honest.

Years ago a group of kids aged 4-8 years old were asked to define what “love” is.[1] This is what some of them said:

• “When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and painther toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time,even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.”  Rebecca- age 8

• “When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. Youjust know that your name is safe in their mouth.” Billy – age 4

• “Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your Frenchfries without making them give you any of theirs.”  Chrissy – age 6

• “Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.” Terri – age 4

• “Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sipbefore giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.”  Danny – age 7

• “Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are stillfriends even after they know each other so well.”  Tommy – age 6

• “During my piano recital, I was on a stage, and I was scared. I lookedat all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. Hewas the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.”    Cindy – age 8

• “My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.” Clare – age 6

• “Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.” Elaine-age 5

• “Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he ishandsomer than Robert Redford.”  Chris – age 7

• “I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her oldclothes and has to go out and buy new ones.”  Lauren – age 4

• “You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.”  Jessica – age 8

• . . . a four-year-old child [had a] next-door neighbor [who] was an elderly gentleman [and] had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed on to his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, “Nothing, I just helped him cry.”

• And lastly, Nikka aged 6, said, “If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.”

There is a lot of wisdom in the words of those precious young ones. I think we all need to love better. The Apostle Paul was inspired to write the greatest chapter on love in the Bible. In part the Spirit through Paul defined love as:

1 Corinthians 13:4–8 (NKJV) – ⁴ Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; ⁵ does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; ⁶ does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; ⁷ bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. ⁸ Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.

That’s a wonderful definition of love. Even the unsaved world appreciates those inspired words using that passage at weddings and other heart moving events. But did you know there is another chapter on love by Paul? There is.

In verse fifteen of chapter fourteen in Romans we find the phrase “walking in love.” What does that mean? “Love” in this verse is translated from the Greek term agape which means charity, benevolence. This is the word used to describe God’s love for the world (John 3:16) and Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross (Romans 5:8). If you really want to know what love is in its substance and deepest definition, look to God in Christ to find it. The love of God is, as Paul ended his inspired chapter, “the greatest” (1 Corinthians 13:13).

The Apostles of Jesus were all well taught by their Shepherd that love is the greatest and should be the focus of life and His ministry. What did Jesus say about love? Jesus said love should be the badge of identification for His followers:

John 13:35 (NKJV) – By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Jesus said His brand of love was inseparably linked to sacrifice:

John 15:13 (NKJV) – 13 Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.

The love of Jesus is no cheap kind of love, it is expressed in obedience:

John 14:15 (NKJV) – 15 “If you love Me, keep My commandments.

John 14:21 (NKJV) – 21 He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him.”

But Jesus also warned that in the End Times love would grow cold:

Matthew 24:12 (NKJV) – And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold.

As lawlessness is abounding more and more in our day, love is becoming colder and colder. We need to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus and grow in our love.

Such love is not generated from within us. Such love is regenerated by the Holy Spirit in our heart. Paul put is like this:

Romans 5:5 (NKJV) – ⁵ Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

The only way we can love like we should is for God to pour His love into our heart by the Holy Spirit when we are born again. You can’t love like you should unless you’ve experienced your spiritual birth, your second birth. Once regenerated by the Holy Spirit, He produces the fruit of love in you – “But the fruit of the Spirit is love. . ..” (Galatians 5:22).

The Apostles knew the importance of love. Peter was inspired to write about the importance of love saying:

1 Peter 4:7-8 (NKJV) – 7 But the end of all things is at hand; therefore be serious and watchful in your prayers. 8 And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.”

The Apostle John was known as “The Apostle of Love.” (See my book True Fellowship with God for a more detailed consideration of John’s epistles.[2]) His inspired writings are evidence of this moniker of love. John wasn’t always known for his love. He was once a Boanerge brother.[3] No longer a “Son of Thunder,” John was transformed by the love of Jesus. We see the product of that transformation in his inspired words. In his first epistle John says of love:

1 John 2:15 (NKJV) – ¹⁵ Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

John tells us the love of God and loving the world or a worldly kind of love is incompatible with the love of God.

John was so blessed by the way God loved us. He saw everything through the loving eyes of God:

1 John 3:1–3 (NKJV) – Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! Therefore the world does not know us, because it did not know Him. ² Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. ³ And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself, just as He is pure.

There is a purity, a holiness of life that is generated in us as we dwell on the love of God.

John further spoke of the distinctive nature of love in the children of God. He said:

1 John 3:10 (NKJV) – ¹⁰ In this the children of God and the children of the devil are manifest: Whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is he who does not love his brother.

The mark that distinguishes children of God from those who remain children of the devil, is love.

1 John 3:11-12 (NKJV) ¹¹ For this is the message that you heard from the beginning, that we should love one another, ¹² not as Cain who was of the wicked one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his works were evil and his brother’s righteous.

The message of God’s love is a part of what Jude referred to as “the faith once for all delivered to the saints” (Jude 3). Such love doesn’t murder its spiritual siblings in word or deed, but as we will see, receives the one weak in faith.

1 John 3:13-15 (NKJV) – ¹³ Do not marvel, my brethren, if the world hates you. ¹⁴ We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love his brother abides in death. ¹⁵ Whoever hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.

Love is the supreme and most solid evidence of genuine spiritual life in a person. Without love, there remains only death.

1 John 3:16 (NKJV) – ¹⁶ By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.

Love is best seen and understood in the sacrifice of Jesus.

1 John 3:17-18 (NKJV) – ¹⁷ But whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him? ¹⁸ My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.

This true love is practical not merely cerebral.

1 John 3:19-23 (NKJV) – ¹⁹ And by this we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him. ²⁰ For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things. ²¹ Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God. ²² And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight. ²³ And this is His commandment: that we should believe on the name of His Son Jesus Christ and love one another, as He gave us commandment.

God’s love leads us to His truth. God’s love in us and living in such love, enables us to come before God with confidence. When we come before the Lord in love, “whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight.” Trusting in Jesus and loving like he loved is the abundant life Jesus spoke of in John’s Gospel (john 10:10).

1 John 4:7–11 (NKJV) ⁷ Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. ⁸ He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. ⁹ In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. ¹⁰ In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. ¹¹ Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

Loving one another is the way God has provided for us to know Him better. John says, “God is love.” Think about that. Realizing that is one of the profound truths of life and salvation in Christ.

1 John 4:12-16 (NKJV) – ¹² No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us. ¹³ By this we know that we abide in Him, and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit. ¹⁴ And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son as Savior of the world. ¹⁵ Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. ¹⁶ And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.

God reveals Himself through our love for one another. Love is the evidence of the person who truly abides and belongs to God.

1 John 4:17–19 (NKJV) – ¹⁷ Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world. ¹⁸ There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. ¹⁹ We love Him because He first loved us.

It is through our love of God that fear of death and judgment is dealt a death blow.

1 John 4:20–21 (NKJV) – ²⁰ If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? ²¹ And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also.

The love of God and hate toward any person is incompatible. Like water and oil, like fire and water, like air in a vacuum, they just don’t mix. We can and even should hate evil and sin (Psalm 5:5). The “fear of the LORD” which is the beginning of wisdom, involves hating evil, pride, arrogance, perversity, and wicked living (Proverbs 8:13). But we are not to hate the offenders. It is God’s responsibility to administer vengeance, not ours (cf. Romans 12:17-21). That is not always easy. But it is necessary if we are to grow in the love of God and experience all its benefits.1 John 5:2–3 (NKJV) – ² By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and keep His commandments. ³ For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome.

Love, true love, cannot be separated from obeying our Lord of love. When we disobey God in word or deed, when we disregard our God-given conscience, when we ignore the conviction of the Holy Spirit of love, love is quenched.

Perfect Love? John was inspired to speak of God’s love being “perfected” (Greek Perfect Passive tense of the verb teleioo) or matured, brought to completion, made a finished work in us. John described such Perfect Love saying, “But whoever keeps His word, truly the love of God is perfected in him. By this we know that we are in Hm. He who says he abides in Him ought himself also to walk just as He walked” (1 John 2:5-6). Such a “perfected” work of love in us can only occur via a work of the Holy Spirit in us. I pray we all would be more and more “perfected” in our love. Truly the height of our walk with the Lord is being perfected in His love.

John speaks of this as an attainable state of being. The “Passive” aspect of the verb “perfected” means this is something that is done to us by the Spirit rather than something we attain through our own efforts. Such a level and maturity of love is something that reality and experience reveal through the valleys and mountaintops of life. I don’t know about you, but when I am laid out in the casket of my passing and people are parading by paying their respects and commenting on who I was in life, my prayer and hope is that the most common and primary memory people will have of me is that, “He loved so much. He made us feel so loved. He made us feel like Jesus was loving us through him.” That’s my hope. Is it yours?

In Romans 13 Paul says:

Romans 13:8 (NKJV) – Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law.

There is one thing we are obligated to give to those around us. That one thing is to love them. So, how can we guard against our love growing cold? How do we practically love? What does such love look like when the rubber meets the road in our relationships? God’s love is not merely an emotion that rises and falls on whim. God’s love is an action. Romans 14 gives us practical input and real-life examples of what the Holy Spirit inspired love of God in Christian life looks like.

Romans 14:1 (NKJV) – Receive one who is weak in the faith,

First, walking in the love of the Spirit is embracing those weak in faith. The word “receive” (Greek prolambano) means to take to oneself, embrace, receive. The word “weak” (Greek astheneo) means feeble, diseased, sick, without strength, powerless. We might add a person who is weak in faith is underdeveloped spiritually. They may be weakened by circumstances or trials, or spiritual warfare. Regardless of the cause, we are to embrace the person who is weak in their faith.

but not to disputes over doubtful things.

Second, walking in the love of the Spirit is understanding that a person weak in faith will indeed often dispute over doubtful things. The weak in faith person majors in minors and minors in majors. Therefore, we should be aware of this and not allow ourselves to be drawn into unproductive disputes (2 Tim. 2:14-16, 23-26). There is a time when we must contend for the faith (Jude 3-4). We should contend when the clear teachings of scripture are being attacked or falsely taught. But in those less clear debatable topics we are to be loving and gracious. We can still have civil discussions on the debatable issues, but it should not divide us.

The word “disputes” (Greek diakrisis) means to go through judgment, it means to take to court seeking judgment. The word “doubtful” (Greek dialogismos) means debatable, disputable, open to interpretation, uncertain, doubtful. These are things that the Lord has not provided clear teaching on. We are to contend for the clear essentials of the faith. But doubtful nonessential things should not be a source of dispute among brethren.

There are some people who dispute everything just for the sake of disputing. They will “play devil’s advocate” they’ll say just to stir things up. Such practices are often divisive and aggravate. Later in Romans Paul advises:

Romans 16:17 (NKJV) – 17 Now I urge you, brethren, note those who cause divisions and offenses, contrary to the doctrine which you learned, and avoid them.

One of the six things the Lord HATES, is “one who sows discord among the brethren” (Proverbs 6:19).

We should ask questions and discuss issues, but questions should be genuine, and discussion should unite not divide brethren.

2 For one believes he may eat all things, but he who is weak eats only vegetables. 3 Let not him who eats despise him who does not eat, and let not him who does not eat judge him who eats; for God has received him. 4 Who are you to judge another’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls. Indeed, he will be made to stand, for God is able to make him stand.

Third, walking in the love of the Spirit is entrusting or surrendering people with different opinions to the Lord. The person who “believes he may eat all things” is contrasted with a person “who is weak” because they “only” eat vegetables. There are times when we should “abstain from every form of evil” (1 Thess. 5:22). Indulging in “evil” (Greek poneros – that which is hurtful, evil, degenerate, malicious, devilish, lewd, something that causes harm) is never an option. But things like what we eat are a matter of personal preference and not something we should argue about or divide over.

The more important thing here is to understand we shouldn’t overstep and judge another’s servant. Paul alludes to God being our Master and that He is able to “make him stand.” In other words, it’s not our place to judge people in such circumstances. It’s wiser and more acceptable to release them to God their Master.

5 One person esteems one day above another; another esteems every day alike. Let each be fully convinced in his own mind.

Fourth, walking in the love of the Spirit is giving others freedom to be convinced in their own mind on nonessential debatable things. Here Paul introduces another example of esteeming days as either all of equal value or some more important than others. Love allows people to make up their own mind.

6 He who observes the day, observes it to the Lord; and he who does not observe the day, to the Lord he does not observe it. He who eats, eats to the Lord, for he gives God thanks; and he who does not eat, to the Lord he does not eat, and gives God thanks. 7 For none of us lives to himself, and no one dies to himself. 8 For if we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s. 9 For to this end Christ died and rose and lived again, that He might be Lord of both the dead and the living. 10 But why do you judge your brother? Or why do you show contempt for your brother?

Fifth, walking in the love of the Spirit is understanding Jesus died for and therefore they belong to Him. We get ourselves in trouble when we try to help God out with His people. The Bible says very clearly that we have been bought by Jesus’ redemptive work on the cross and we are not our own (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). We are not our own, and we do not own others.

For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ. 11 For it is written:

“As I live, says the LORD,

Every knee shall bow to Me,

And every tongue shall confess to God.”

12 So then each of us shall give account of himself to God. 13 Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother’s way.

Sixth, walking in the love of the Spirit is understanding we will all stand before the judgment seat of Christ where our lives and how we lived them will be judged by Jesus and rewards given out accordingly. We will all give an account of our lives to Jesus. As Christians we won’t be judged about our eternal destiny because that is settled in Christ (2 Cor. 5:21). But we will be judged about how we lived our new life in Christ while still living (1 Cor. 3:9-17).

14 I know and am convinced by the Lord Jesus that there is nothing unclean of itself; but to him who considers anything to be unclean, to him it is unclean. 15 Yet if your brother is grieved because of your food, you are no longer walking in love. Do not destroy with your food the one for whom Christ died. 16 Therefore do not let your good be spoken of as evil; 17 for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. 18 For he who serves Christ in these things is acceptable to God and approved by men.

Seventh, walking in the love of the Spirit is being sensitive to other Christian’s beliefs so that we are willing to restrict our freedom in order to avoid stumbling or hindering another person’s faith. The priority is not our freedom, but the health of the other person’s faith. That is how the loving person views such a situation.

19 Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another. 20 Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food.

Eighth, walking in the love of the Spirit is being a peacemaker and edifying others. Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God” (Matthew 5:9). To the Christian’s in Ephesus Paul exhorted, “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers” (Eph. 4:29). The next time you’re tempted to interject or make a comment ask yourself, “Is this going to promote peace and build people up or cause a war and tear people down?” Your opinion or winning an argument about debatable nonessentials is not as important as you may think it is. Sometimes it’s best to just keep your mouth shut. Words spoken cannot be taken back.

All things indeed are pure, but it is evil for the man who eats with offense. 21 It is good neither to eat meat nor drink wine nor do anything by which your brother stumbles or is offended or is made weak. 22 Do you have faith? Have it to yourself before God. Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves.

Ninth, walking in the love of the Spirit is being discreet about indulging the things we have faith to do. In the privacy of our own homes, we are free to live in our liberty.

23 But he who doubts is condemned if he eats, because he does not eat from faith; for whatever is not from faith is sin.

Tenth, walking in the love of the Spirit is understanding we should listen to the Spirit and our conscience, the conscience God has given us. The Holy Spirit will convict us about whether to do certain things. The Holy Spirit guides us by peace (Colossians 3:15). If in doubt, don’t proceed. It would be better for you to err on the side of caution than disregard the Spirit or conscience.

Sometimes the Spirit will check us to not do something we previously were free to do. That can be because someone is watching whose faith or salvation will be affected by our actions. Always follow God’s peace. Never disregard the Holy Spirits leading.

So, as little six-year-old Nikka said, “If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.” I’m not going to go so far as to pray for the Lord to send us “a friend who you hate.” But when we are tempted to hate, I pray we seize the opportunity to learn about and live out the love of God. In doing so we will mature in our walk with God, glorify Him and demonstrate to those around us that He is real, and that He truly is loving and the source of true love. In Jesus’ name. Let us love! Amen!

 

[1] https://www.dailygood.org/story/158/what-does-love-mean-see-how-4-8-year-old-kids-describe-love-ladan-lashkari/

[2] See my book True Fellowship With God for a more detailed study of 1, 2, and 3 John available at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook- https://www.amazon.com/True-Fellowship-God-practical-words/dp/1723024120/ref=sr_1_1?crid=ESVBG5E6LPOM&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.2grOmApIzP4VjSPzngSHuCF-7D_iLCNVkIBy08F7y-bGjHj071QN20LucGBJIEps.2uDvW2D62TmL2779ZjB_WLOoQegOh6VL6xm_ELWW88s&dib_tag=se&keywords=1+John+by+Claude+Stauffer&qid=1742906304&sprefix=1+john+by+claude+stauffer%2Caps%2C123&sr=8-1

[3] See Mark 3:17.